Compassionate society behaviours to keep and others to dump- Reflections

I have been encouraged over the last few months by the way neighbours are getting to know their neighbours and the many small acts of kindness through this coronavirus pandemic shown to each other. The deep respect for a 100 year old who has done extra ordinary things for our health system has given an shot of adrenaline to the national hope in the art of the possible just at the right time. It has been heartening how people have come together in local communities in new ways to help others, such as in the good neighbour schemes and local helplines. This all bodes well for our culture and the things that may need to be captured and developed as it celebrates the goodness in man and provides a pool of assets within communities who can be involved in new ways if co-ordinated as part of a wider system.

Conversely, we have also seen the worst of behaviours. As ministers and health professionals try to do their best in a time of a pandemic which the country has never seen before and only had a flu pandemic emergency plan to work with, learning as we go to amend this. This unprecedented situation requires collaboration, co-ordination, and co-operation of everyone involved, open minds to learn from mistakes without blame.  It has also been important to consider the experience of others around the world, given different characteristics within their population and responding as fast as possible accordingly.

It is not what we say but the way we say it- a well-known adage. Learning to disagree well is what we should aim for. It is always good to challenge but I have cringed by some the disrespectful and unhelpful inquisition -style, somewhat self-righteous manner of questioning shown on the media to leaders. Despite mistakes made, it seems out of step with the coming-together messages of compassion and kindness shown by the public towards key workers including NHS, care homes, shops and services and those in other caring roles where people are having to take difficult decisions at a time, doing their best at the time under huge scrutiny and pressure of rapidly changing goal posts.

Culture is king It is good to be able to raise, concerns and challenge and disagree. This can create excellence if handled with respect. - but how we disagree can either allow both parties to keep their dignity, or, if handled badly is very destructive as is any bullying behaviours seen in organisations that fail to deliver good outcomes that build rather than destroy.

I hope we don’t see the complete collapse of ethics and objectivity in some areas of the media, as many of us notice with grave concern the chilling authoritarian mindsets and how blame-driven reporting so undermines our dignity and humanity, out of step with decency and even our very democracy.

Kindness can transform someone’s dark moments like a blaze of light. As we come out the other side of this, the likelihood is one that we will see an increase in mental health challenges and a deeper awareness of the importance of keeping well and the whole aspect of prevention and we could do well to challenge the toxic aspects of living which has affected our health and wellbeing . We need to ask searching questions about our lifestyle and how it impacts our health and realise that our attitudes and our ‘arteries’; everything is connected.